In hospice and palliative care, listening is more than just a communication skill. Sometimes, it is one of the best gifts we can offer a patient, a family member, a clinician, or a teammate. When people feel truly heard, trust has room to grow.
Leaders step into conversations every day where people may not say exactly what they need. Sometimes they need an answer, sometimes they need understanding, and sometimes they just need someone to stay present long enough to notice what is underneath the words. That is why I have been thinking about four different ways hospice leaders are called to listen.
1. Listen to Fix
Sometimes there really is a problem to solve. A barrier needs to be removed, a process needs to be fixed, or someone needs a clear answer. Good leaders know when to step in and help, but they also know not every conversation is asking for a solution.
2. Listen to Understand
This kind of listening asks us to slow down. Instead of getting ready to respond, we ask better questions, stay curious, and try to understand what the other person is really experiencing. In hospice, people often need to know they have been heard before they are ready to hear from us.
3. Listen for What Isn’t Being Said
A lot of listening happens beyond the actual words. Tone, hesitation, silence, body language, or the sentence someone starts but does not finish can all say something important. Sometimes, “I’m fine” does not tell us much at all.
4. Listen to Learn
This may be the most humbling kind of listening. It starts with believing the person across from us may know something we do not. Every nurse, aide, chaplain, social worker, coordinator, administrator, and team member sees the work from a different angle.
The best hospice leaders do not listen just so they can respond. They listen to understand the person, support the team, and make the care better.
In the end, being heard is one of the quietest and kindest ways we remind people they matter.
Tobby E. Smith, PhD, M.Div
